im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
