I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
