i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
