Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
