the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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