when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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