Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
