yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
