It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
