you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
