I'm going to rape someone's good day.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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