I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
