I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
