Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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