he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize