I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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