it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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