if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Randomize
