I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize