Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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