I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
