can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
