I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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