The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
