You're a womanizer and a bitch.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
