Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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