Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
All the doctor said was why
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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