hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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