Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
