...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
