Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
