today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
