Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize