so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Apparently you make a good broom.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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