dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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