actually, I'm a sock model
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
