I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
