I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
