How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
