careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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