you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
