i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I have demons in me.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
