porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
