idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
