he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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