so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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