sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
