my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize