I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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