I can't breathe out the right side of my face
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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