its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
