OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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