question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
