Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
