i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
