I hate your face
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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