think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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