just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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