There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
