wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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