Are we in a gay sports bar?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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