On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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