in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
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I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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