First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I supernannyed him into submission
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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