found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
